When important matters and decisions are on the table for discussion, conversation can get a little tricky and difficult sometimes.
You can prevent the conversation from getting tangled and tripped up by common pitfalls with a little care in language choice and a few simple strategies for staying on track and making clear decisions.
I’ve compiled my 7 simplest meeting and conflict resolution hacks to help:
- When you’ve got a problem to solve, don’t waste valuable face-to-face time. Learn why blamestorming is a waste.
- Avoid a common decision-making mistake with silence does not equal yes.
- Don’t fall into the trap of this guaranteed disagreement sidetracker: always, never.
- When things get a bit hot under the collar, make sure you’re taking the right steps to really cool them down again.
- Learn why the phrase I hear you is one to avoid and what to say instead.
- Understand why “and” can be a much better word than “but” in conflict situations: Yes, but…
- Don’t fear that truly effective listening will inadvertently convey that you agree. Acknowledging is different than agreeing.
What are your favorite meeting and conflict hacks?
Conflict Zen® by Tammy Lenski is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License. Based on a work at ConfictZen.Lenski.com.
I agree that “I understand” is a much more effective vs. “I hear what you are saying.” Obviously conflict is inevitable but often the emphasis is placed on dissolving vs. preventing issues. So often we tend to take a reactive approach instead of a proactive approach. A trait that I find lacking in the world today is Responsiveness.
With a communicative approach such as responsiveness individuals will have a better understanding of how things are. Many times silence and lack of communication within an organization will cause individuals to come to their own conclusions which often leads to misunderstandings. With misunderstandings can lead to one drawing incorrect conclusions. Great tips, great post!
Mark Salinass last blog post..Motivation and Fitness
Mark, I agree that silence in an organization can lead to greater misunderstandings.
For new readers, here’s a post on that topic from a while back: Silence at Work May Be the Snake Under the Rug.
Thanks for stopping in and adding to the conversation!
To add to this little line of thought –
I did a creativity training at a company – and the group was very tightly controlled and didn’t give an inch at first. Any time any vunerability was expressed, someone in the group quickly dismissed it with humor.
As the day wore on, it was clear that the silence was covering up deep resentment and frustration – but whenever someone began to “go there” and even admit pain – the quick-wit, smart-ass remark would break the moment up with lots of laughter. I eventually pointed out that pattern to them – and by the end of my day there, they were ready to face and rectify the pattern.
I’ve seen this one a lot. The “humor-as-cover-up-to continue-the- angry-silence syndrome. (I’m a little tired this evening, so I’m not writing this well at all!)
Christine Kanes last blog post..What Spam Can Teach You about Inner Peace
Hey there, Christine! Great story. They needed you to see the pattern and call them on it…that gave them permission to face it. And I see the humor-cover-up crutch in my conflict resolution work, too. I sometimes think about anger and humor being opposite sides of the same coin.