“In the beginner’s mind there are many possibilities, in the expert’s there are few.” – Suzuki Roshi, Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind
In Zen practice, beginner’s mind is the curious mind, the mind that’s completely open to what’s unfolding in front of it and free of judgments, expectations, diagnoses. Like a child’s mind, it embraces wonderment at what it’s noticing and exploring.
Beginner’s mind is a mind that’s not yet made up.
One of the gifts a workplace mediator and conflict consultant brings to clients is the ability to view the conflict with beginner’s mind. We don’t have the baggage you have. Our eyes aren’t “blindered” by prior experience with the people involved.
When I work one-on-one with individuals who want to change the way they react in interpersonal conflict, or with managers learning how to manage work conflict better, I’ll often invite them to consider the following question. And I don’t let them get away with the easy answer, the throw-away answer. So much of the most important work done in good conflict resolution is before the conversation.
If you could bring beginner’s mind to this conflict, what might you notice that you haven’t yet noticed?
Conflict Zen® by Tammy Lenski is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License. Based on a work at ConfictZen.Lenski.com.
Embrace conflict as a healthy environment. Conflict shows a passion for the processes, systems, policies, workflow, and, ultimately, the bottom line. If you owned your own company, wouldn’t you want passionate people involved?
Conflict is at the heart of life. Pick up any fictional novel, and you’ll see that conflict is at the center of the plot. Conflict makes life rich. Never discourage conflict in an organization. What was the last movie you watched? Did it contain conflict? How would the movie have been if you removed the conflict from the script?
Conflict resolution is also important, albeit not as complicated as many think. Resolution is important only from the standpoint that if the conflict goes on too long, it begins to drain and will eventually result in long-term animosity. Most conflict resolves itself in time. However, there will be times when you’ll need to inject yourself. For me, the best method of resolution is also the oldest method. Put both parties in a room and let them work it out. You may want to hang around as moderator. If you have strong feeling in this matter, keep them to yourself. If you take sides, you’ll fail. If the parties were a distance apart, I would still manage to get them in a room together. We miss too many communication cues on the telephone. Michael L. Gooch, SPHR author of Wingtips with Spurs: Cowboy Wisdom for Today’s Business Leaders http://www.michaellgooch.com
Hi, Michael – Thanks for visiting and taking the time to make such a detailed comment. As a professional mediator, I concur with the value you place on people sitting down together to sort out their differences before the situation escalates and complexifies. I’m not sure I’d say it’s always the best method, as I’ve seen many cases of so-called “interpersonal conflict” that essentially werent’…instead, some of these turn out to be more about the way the system is pressing upon the folks involved. Without an adjustment to the organizational or departmental system that’s exacerbating or creating the problem, I believe talk itself isn’t sufficient. As an HR person, I’m betting I’m not saying anything you don’t already know!