This is a Zen koan (traditional story) known as Maybe:
A farmer’s horse ran away. His neighbors gathered upon hearing the news and said sympathetically, “That’s such bad luck.”
“Maybe,” the farmer replied.
The horse returned on his own the next morning, and brought seven wild horses with it. “Look how many more horses you have now,” the neighbors exclaimed. “How lucky!”
“Maybe,” the farmer replied.
The next day, the farmer’s son attempted to ride one of the wild horses, was thrown, and broke his leg. “How awful,” the neighbors said. “It looks like your luck has turned for the worse again.”
The farmer simply replied, “Maybe.”
The following day, military officers came to town to conscript young men into the service. Seeing the son’s broken leg, they rejected him. The neighbors gathered round the farmer to tell him how fortunate he was.
“Maybe,” said the farmer.
Conflict coaching and mediation clients often ask me, “Am I (are we) making progress?” The best answer I can offer sometimes is, “Maybe.”
We never really know which direction is progress, until time has passed and we see the fruits of our work. The act of conflict resolution, then, is an act both of courage and faith, for who knows where it will lead until we are there.
Conflict Zen® by Tammy Lenski is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License. Based on a work at ConfictZen.Lenski.com.
Tammy,
I continue to find really good information in your blog. Thanks for the effort.
I just saw this post today, and it was perfectly timed. I’m in the middle of this sort of situation with a client of mine. I find myself answering “maybe” to my client and their supervisor at this point in our work together. It’s good to know that I’m not the only one who has “maybe” experiences.
Intellectually knowing that the process often takes time to reach conclusion and feeling satisified with what may or may not be progress on any given day is sometimes a difficult struggle. I am by nature a “results now” sort of person.
Again, thanks for the perspective. I am enjoying reading your work.
Guy Harris
Greetings, Guy -
I’ve been pondering your comment about being a “results now” sort of person. It made me think because I’m like that, too — for myself. But, somehow, with clients, I have all the patience in the world to allow whatever they need to unfold organically, not too slowly, not to quickly. I’m betting, based on your comments, you do the same with your own clients. It’s funny how we can sometimes be one way with ourselves and another with those we serve.