One of my recent conflict resolution workshop participants raised his hand. “How do you know when it’s worth raising an issue and when it would be better to let it go?”

Well that’s sure the $64,000 question! (I’m probably dating myself with that one, eh?)

In the workshop, I showed folks how to figure it out for themselves, each time that good question comes up in a conflict situation or other problem. Since I don’t have all of you in a workshop, here are some guiding questions I offer my conflict coaching clients and training participants:

• Is there real risk of the issue becoming the snake under the rug?
• Can you really let it go? Or will you pretend to let it go, then let it eat at you and seep out in your interactions?
• What are the real costs of letting it go?
• Think about looking back at your life when you’re 100. Will this be one that mattered?
• Are others counting on you or is there a real impact on others if you don’t confront the problem?
• Are you a “take ‘em all on” type? If so, is your typical pattern misleading you in this situation?
• Are you a “avoid it if I can” type? If so, is your typical pattern misleading you in this situation?

How do you decide whether to confront or let it go? What good questions do you ask yourself or others around you? Share your thoughts in the comments section.

Conflict Zen® by Tammy Lenski is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License. Based on a work at ConfictZen.Lenski.com.