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Conversational Paralysis and All Those Missed Opportunities

15 September 2006 by Tammy Lenski

Have you put off a difficult conversation in one of your important relationships? Here’s what happened for one woman I know, the longer she put off confronting what was on her mind:

The longer I waited to confront the situation, the more my emotions and thoughts got away from me. My thoughts about what happened got jumbled and dramatic. My emotions got more complicated. So then I put off the conversation because I didn’t think I could address it clearly.

It was paralyzing. Having the difficult conversation might have been hard, but not having it was far worse in the long run. All those missed opportunities just break my heart.

Conversational paralysis. Conflict avoidance. Fear of confronting. Whatever you call it, the conversation that goes on in your head is often far worse than the real thing.

Hoping to inspire dialogue,
Tammy

Copyright © 2006 by Tammy Lenski. All rights reserved.

Filed Under: Organizational conflict management

Comments

  1. TechZ says:
    15 September 2006 at 8:18 am

    It’s true, I tend to avoid certain conversations for fear of how they will end, or thinking the worst of the outcome. Now that I’m working, I’m trying to think positively about outcomes and try my best.

  2. Tammy Lenski says:
    15 September 2006 at 8:41 am

    Hey there, TechZ – It’s great to try transforming your thinking about the anticipated conversation…if nothing else, assuming more positive instead of negative outcomes will make it easier to step into the conversation. And like a lot of things, just getting started makes the rest of it possible (like writing a blog post!).

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Conflict Zen ® is about the simple yet powerful habits of mind and word that radically shift problems and turn conflict into opportunity. Dr. Tammy Lenski, a conflict management consultant for 15 years, shares what really works for organizational, management, business and executive conflict resolution.

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