One way to gather yourself after the stress of a disagreement is to find a peaceful spot to catch your breath and get your feet back under you. Even 10 minutes of calming reflection can make a huge difference in the remainder of your day.
Just make sure you don’t use the time to keep replaying the conflict…that’ll only make things worse because you’ll stay emotionally flooded.
Can’t get away to a place you find peaceful? Try Lime.com’s Meditation Room, just a click away on your computer or iPod. You can visit it online for the pretty visuals or load the audio files onto your audio player for private listening.
My favorites are the forestroom , the waterroom, and the zenroom.
Conflict Zen® by Tammy Lenski is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License. Based on a work at ConfictZen.Lenski.com.
Hi Tammy, thanks for that great link tip, I really love that Meditation Room site!
You’re absolutely right about not replaying the conflict, but it really is a tough one. Let’s call it a challenge
)..
Certainly when the conflict is not resolved, and/or when you have the urge, like I do, to ‘have the last word.’ The problem is indeed that this only makes the matter worse. In my own body reactions, but also with the conflict itself.
Thanks for reminding to try and stop that mechanism!!
Ellen
Hi, Ellen – Your comment about “having the last word” particularly caught my attention because I’ve been thinking about that lately. I’ve had a couple of coaching clients specifically request assistance with that trap and, of course, it’s one that can trap me, too.
As I pondered it, I realized that there are ways to have the last word without inadvertently extending or escalating the conflict in the process…saying it to ourselves, for instance.
From a conflict zen perspective, though, the better last word is with ourselves: Why am I so attached to having the last word? What does that tell me about myself?