Comments on: Get your balance back in the zen room http://conflictzen.lenski.com/get-your-balance-back-in-the-zen-room/ conflict resolution for organizations, teams, executives and managers Thu, 02 Sep 2010 14:57:40 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Tammy Lenski http://conflictzen.lenski.com/get-your-balance-back-in-the-zen-room/#comment-357 Tammy Lenski Sun, 02 Mar 2008 16:12:41 +0000 http://conflictzen.com/get-your-balance-back-in-the-zen-room/#comment-357 Hi, Ellen - Your comment about "having the last word" particularly caught my attention because I've been thinking about that lately. I've had a couple of coaching clients specifically request assistance with that trap and, of course, it's one that can trap me, too. As I pondered it, I realized that there are ways to have the last word without inadvertently extending or escalating the conflict in the process...saying it to ourselves, for instance. From a conflict zen perspective, though, the better last word is with ourselves: Why am I so attached to having the last word? What does that tell me about myself? Hi, Ellen – Your comment about “having the last word” particularly caught my attention because I’ve been thinking about that lately. I’ve had a couple of coaching clients specifically request assistance with that trap and, of course, it’s one that can trap me, too.

As I pondered it, I realized that there are ways to have the last word without inadvertently extending or escalating the conflict in the process…saying it to ourselves, for instance.

From a conflict zen perspective, though, the better last word is with ourselves: Why am I so attached to having the last word? What does that tell me about myself?

]]> By: Ellen http://conflictzen.lenski.com/get-your-balance-back-in-the-zen-room/#comment-356 Ellen Sun, 02 Mar 2008 08:00:36 +0000 http://conflictzen.com/get-your-balance-back-in-the-zen-room/#comment-356 Hi Tammy, thanks for that great link tip, I really love that Meditation Room site! You're absolutely right about <a href="http://conflictzen.com/beware-the-conflict-replay/" rel="nofollow">not replaying the conflict</a>, but it really is a tough one. Let's call it a challenge ;-)).. Certainly when the conflict is not resolved, and/or when you have the urge, like I do, to 'have the last word.' The problem is indeed that this only makes the matter worse. In my own body reactions, but also with the conflict itself. Thanks for reminding to try and stop that mechanism!! Ellen Hi Tammy, thanks for that great link tip, I really love that Meditation Room site!

You’re absolutely right about not replaying the conflict, but it really is a tough one. Let’s call it a challenge ;-) )..

Certainly when the conflict is not resolved, and/or when you have the urge, like I do, to ‘have the last word.’ The problem is indeed that this only makes the matter worse. In my own body reactions, but also with the conflict itself.

Thanks for reminding to try and stop that mechanism!!

Ellen

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