Ultimately, the way to win an argument is to be clear about your definition of “win” and ensure that definition is consistent with your long-term goals. Ask yourself these questions:

1. How am I defining “win”?
2. Does that definition serve my long-term goals with this person?
3. Should I reconsider my definition to better meet my long-term goals?

If your definition of “win” is short-term in nature (prove I’m smart, get the upper hand for once, show him he’s not so hot after all, put her in her place, etc.), consider this:

In Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ, Daniel Goleman identified the ability to delay gratification (through impulse control) as part of being an emotionally intelligent adult.

Please don’t trade short-term gratification for long-term success,

Copyright © 2006 by Tammy Lenski. All rights reserved.