This post is a continuation of Stepping Up to Difficult Conversations: What My Grad Students Taught Me. What I’m about to write will make more sense if you read that first!

I asked my grad students what their greatest fears were before having the difficult conversations they’d chosen. They named the kinds of fears you and I would probably name, too:

• I feared it wasn’t the "right" time to have the conversation.
• I feared I’d be found out for who I really am.
• I was afraid I might resort to some of my more rageful ways.
• I worried that it would backfire and make things worse.
• I was afraid the other person would get angry at me.
• I feared retribution or other consequences at work.
• I was afraid I wouldn’t handle myself well.
• I was afraid I wouldn’t have the strength to see it through.

Then I asked them what their greatest hopes were. I’ll write about their answers next.

The next post in this short series is Stepping Up to Difficult Conversations: Know Your Strongest Hopes.

Inspired by these students,

Conflict Zen® by Tammy Lenski is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License. Based on a work at ConfictZen.Lenski.com.